How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
