I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
