Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
