Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
