I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
