There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm like, not good at living.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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