Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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