I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
