I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
