Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize