Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How does one acquire holy water?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
