meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
