Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
