I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize