walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
