oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
