if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sext me about skeletons
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
