Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
