we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
