Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
