No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
