My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
