my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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