Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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