hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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