got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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