We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
