im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I understand Curling. That high.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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