I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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