I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
