The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
