There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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