Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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