i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
