Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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