you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
