the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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