clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
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Do I have a choice?
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She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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