VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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