yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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