Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
