I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
