you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
