but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
