She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
