it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
