im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
