if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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