Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
