tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
