Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
