ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
