how can u be prego again
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It was confusing and full of hummus
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
