belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
