even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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