There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
