glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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