i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
