ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
