K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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