She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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