I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't deserve a penis
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
