In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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