I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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