I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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