My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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