does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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