I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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