Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
