The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
