My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
